Seems bad, man.
People really handing their kids devices that have cellular service and unfettered internet access? All my kids devices have 2 layers of adblock, parental controls, and no cell service.
Ok. Or you could, you know, not give them these. Some pretty good data coming out on why this isn’t a great idea. It’s not just luddite ranting.
Yup. I let my kids (7 and 10) play video games or watch approved shows and that’s about it. They get 1 hour on Saturdays, and they can “earn” more any day by reading: 1 hour reading = 30 min “screen time.” We have a max of 2 hours/day, but they can bank time day to day.
It works pretty well. They definitely abuse the system by going beyond their allotted time, but if I “find out,” they lose privileges for a couple days, so it seems they stay pretty honest on average without a ton of oversight.
I don’t have any parental controls/blocking except for:
- ad blocker - screw ads
- passcode on Switch - mostly because of my 4yo, my older kids know the code
Basically, I operate on trust and honesty, and I think it works okay.
I’ll probably get my kids a dumb phone for school when they get old enough. I want them to have cell service for emergencies of any kind.
deleted by creator
Sounds like you would be a horrible parent. The last thing kids need is their father to snoop around in their web traffic and erode any kind of privacy. Children are still humans, and you should respect them as such.
deleted by creator
The worst thing about this in my opinion, is that this is mostly a problem for the children from less resourceful families. There is already a tendency for children from lower socioeconomic households to have more problems with concentration. Adding smartphones will only exacerbate the problem and fuel the fires of growing inequality.
My kid developed myopia. Phones are not good for kids at all. Plus they get get extremely addicted. No good.
The problem is those family sets the standard for everyone.
In middle school it started from poor family who can’t afford other activities than handing down their old smartphone, then the percentage grew to the point not giving a smartphone to your kid means he’s isolated from the group.
Perhaps, but parents need to commit to what they know is healthy for their kids. I didn’t have a phone until I bought it myself in college, even though “everyone” had a phone. My sister is doing the same with her family (has a 17yo with no phone), and I plan to do the same with mine (10yo w/ no phone).
My kids (oldest 10) can whine as much as they want, but they’re not getting a phone until they earn my trust. And given how much they break the rules we already have, it’s going to be a while.
My sister and I aren’t poor, nor were we growing up, we’re both middle class or even a bit above. More people need to push back, because phones seem to be screwing kids up. Look at statistics for suicide and depression, suicide seems to be going up while depression remains pretty consistent, and that seems to have changed right around the time when smartphones became ubiquitous (2015-ish).
So no, my kids aren’t getting phones anytime soon, and it really doesn’t matter what their friends’ parents do.
The problem with this approach is that you might be cutting off your kids from their friends.
Smartphone messaging apps are the way kids communicate nowadays, and if your kid is not in the group chat he/she is isolated.
Yes, that’s the FOMO angle, but kids find a way.
Growing up, most of my friends had phones, and while I missed stuff, I went to most of the parties and had good friends. My sister has teenagers, and they have strong friend networks and whatnot. Good friends will accommodate you.
But communication is a small part of what kids do on their phones. A lot of it is “preparation,” like following TikTok trends so they’re up on what’s currently popular. There’s almost no positives here, only negatives if you don’t spend your time the same way your peers do. If they don’t have a phone at all, they’ll blame their parents, but it’s not the failing of the individual. I’m totally willing to be the “bad guy” if it means my kids aren’t being peer pressured to do things that aren’t beneficial to them. They’ll still have access to tech, but only during limited times at home.
Good friends will work around your lack of access to a phone. I absolutely think the negatives outweigh the positives here, so I’m not letting my kids have a phone, it’s not worth subjecting them to addiction and peer pressure. To me, it’s like smoking (which was still cool when I was a kid), it just impacts your mental health instead of physical health.
LoL your asking the addicted to not make their kids addicted. Good luck!
I think it’s fine for kids to have a phone as long as the parents properly limit their use
Is the sort of parent who gives a 5 year old their own phone going really going to a limit the use? I think the crossover in that Venn diagram is pretty small.
It is not hard. Just have a family app and you can set an allowance of total and for each app. Takes like 10 minutes to set up.
good point
I am actually surprised that they even can use it. This is the time when they start to learn to read…
Have you met a kid? Kids know more about tech st 2 than some adults. They can navigate devices very easily without reading. They just copy what they see.
You’re correct that most 5 year olds cannot read… However there’s so much you can do without knowing how to read. Plus kids are very good at pressing buttons and can figure stuff out by trial and error.
I guess even pressing random buttons is fun enough.
It’s much easier to give your kid your old phone and pay $10 a month for a kids’ account than to deal with your kid constantly wanting to use your phone.
Being a good parent isn’t doing whatever’s easiest to distract your kid.
For sure, its easier than being present as a parent
When they are at the point of going to sleepovers, play dates at friends, camp, etc it also makes a lot of sense to give them a lifeline.
The kids line I pay for gives me all the parental controls I could dream of and control over her contacts. I am 100% present, but I’m not dumb enough to send me kid out into the world without a lifeline.
It seems being needlessly judgmental is the easiest of all.
deal with your kid constantly wanting to use your phone
They are being ‘needlessly judgemental’ about this line, you can fret over the importance of having 100% control over the device (which is weird to me as well but that’s besides the point), having your kid conditioned to constantly want your phone is what people are calling you out for.
I use my phone for work. My child sees me use my phone 8 hours a day. Of course she wants to use the thing she sees me use all the time. She loves taking pictures on our hikes and looking through the photo albums. This is completely normal and supervised.
What’s weird is all the assumptions that I would let my kid have free rein on a smartphone, and assumptions as to how my child really enjoying using my phone is somehow a bad thing. We live in a not great part of town and having gps tracking, only mom/dad/grandparents as contacts, and other safety features makes my old-gen smartphone a good lifeline.
Ya’ll are missing the forest for the trees with your assumptions.
Read your own words, you’d rather give your child a phone than deal with your child wanting yours. That is exactly what you said, no assumptions needed.
Yes, I’d rather teach them to responsibly use their own tool instead of them wanting mine, in a supervised way. So crazy, right?
Next time start with that instead of giving them a phone because that’s easier than dealing with the child, people might not get their knickers in a twist.
It’s also easier to give them all the candy they can eat, than to deal with your kid constantly wanting candy. Doesn’t make it healthy.
how else are children supposed to communicate with friends other than at school?
Dumb phone exist. My children got their dumb phones when they started walking to school on their own (so they can call us in case of a problem).
No internet, only 4 harmless games and I can control which numbers are allowed to call them and which numbers they are allowed to call.
Mail 📬 ?
Homing Pigeons 🪽?
I guess their parents could arrange for them to meet sometimes.
Wait, that’s too much work.
