LifeBandit666

I call this feeling “The Holy Spirit” and no I’m not religious, hear me out.

So there’s “The Father” which is you, in charge of everything.

Then there’s “The Son” which is your Jesus, the bit of you that does shit mostly perfectly without any input from you. The scary example of this is when you drive to work and can’t remember the drive at all. Jesus Take the wheel. Teach your Jesus right and you can trust he’ll do things fine.

Then The Holy Spirit, which is that part of you that sees everything, before the filters are applied, and let’s you know something is off. There’s no obvious reason for it, but there’s something off about this guy and we need to get away from him as soon as possible and never interact with them again.

The Jesus part is the important bit for most of us. Learning to play the guitar? Teach your Jesus. When you’ve practiced enough you can just trust that Jesus will hit the notes while you concentrate on singing along.

When I learned to Juggle I just taught my Jesus how to throw properly so it lands in the other hand.

At work I teach my Jesus how to do the manual labour, do the checks I need to do, and I can concentrate on ripping on my work colleagues.

Sacrifice the Lion for the good of everyone? It comes back from the dead… Not ringing any bells?

My arse quacks like a duck

I remember the days when I spent time convincing people to use chat apps. The last one that stuck was WhatsApp.

I’ve since stopped installing new chat apps because people won’t use them.

WhatsApp just works. Wanna video call my Mum? Push a button. Wanna send a Lemmy meme to my mates? Yeah it’s 3 taps.

I open up Facebook on me birthday and press the ❤️ on the birthday messages then shut it down and don’t use it for another year.

But if I do that with WhatsApp then I don’t hear from people I actually care about.

I actually have a friend that refuses to use WhatsApp like I do with FaceFuck. “How does she do it then?” I hear you ask.

She uses Facebook Messenger.

That’s the hold Meta has on our communications

Yes

Yeah we got married on our 18th anniversary of being a couple. I always said I didn’t believe in marriage and I still think it’s a silly idea to be honest.

My argument was that we had made the choice to be together and to be an exclusive couple. There was zero need to get married to have that. It’s a certificate that costs a fortune just to have someone else tell us the terms and conditions of our relationship. I had proposed to her a few years into being together and we just remained engaged for a decade or more.

My Wife had an issue before the marriage where she would get odd looks off some people, some of the time, when our surnames came up. My kids had my surname and she had hers, and there’s still a stigma to that from some people.

So she changed her name legally to my surname at some point, so we even had that benefit without technically being married.

Then one day she just said “Hey should we get married? Doesn’t have to cost much at this point.” I had zero argument against it except the tired old arguements of “It’s just a bit of paper, we don’t need the State to tell us we’re together.” So we went ahead, and I picked the date of our anniversary so I didn’t have to remember another date.

It was a Monday so that immediately cut the people that didn’t wanna book a day off work, and it cost us £500 including food and venue (the pub over the road from our house which didn’t open during the day on a Monday). And it was a cracking day. We could just wander home if we needed anything, and when we’d had enough drinking we just toddled over the road.

As for the wedding night, my Wife still ribs me for the fact I just rolled into bed drunk and snored.

What we managed to do was prove that a wedding doesn’t need to be too much of a stress, or cost the earth, to be a meaningful event. It’s still a high-point in our lives, but we didn’t really gain anything from doing it.

One thing I will never understand is the people that think that it’s an important part of a relationship. A guy at work was talking about the length of his marriage. He is much older than me and was saying he had been married 40 years. I piped up that we had been together for 23 years and married for 5 and he just replied “Yeah but we’ve been married for 40 years” like the 18 years before our “ceremony” were meaningless. But this is the same guy that asked me yesterday if I was “A Fucking Puff or something” because I’ve painted my nails black. There’s a generation of people still alive that think like this and honestly, I hope it’s gone by the time my kids grow up.

Met my now wife in high school. We’ve been together since high school.

We’ve been married for 5 years now.

I’m 40 next.

So kinda agree with the post, but not the sentiment that if you met your partner early you’re weird. I was lucky I met the love of my life so young. Just because you didn’t doesn’t mean I’m weird, just not as lucky as me.

Haha I’ve just come from a comment about Brexit, and I’d argue that a lot of Humans don’t think either.

You’re acting like birds are actually real or something

Wrong explanations only

By their own book, the bad guy thought the stupid naked people should have a bit of an education and the good guy punished them for trying to improve their knowledge base. Serpents rule!

I was taught in school that the real battle in the universe is between chaos and order. They gave it a fancy name, Entropy, but that was the gist.

So Chaos is God and Order is Satan. Live all hunter gathering under God or just go to the Supermarket under Satan, and spend the rest of your time doing other things, like making art or scientific theories.

Even now the Church is against progress. Don’t let them Gays get married for fucks sake, the world will explode.

Hail Satan.

Come to the UK, we don’t do any of that shit here. In Yorkshire we just nod and say “Alreight?” or “How do?” and that’s it, job done.

UK here, I used to smoke Joints with tobacco mixed in. Gave up tobacco but still liked a joint.

I moved to a dry herb vape, and now only smoke a Joint very occasionally when someone offers me a cigarette, which is very rare because of the price.

I go “Yeah thanks” and put it behind my ear and tell em I’ll get 2 joints out of that later.

Meh, I spend that on weed, and more on rum

Sounds like you’re a shit Manager to me.

I agree wholeheartedly, and when we got locked down for COVID I learned how to play guitar and automate my house using a raspberry pi. It was a great time, and I look back on it fondly. I finally had time to pursue things that interested me, that I didn’t have time for with work.

Nowadays I play guitar and tinker with home automation, and work as well, but back then I had the hours to put in to starting the hobbies.

I like to play

They’re all just Urinals now

I just upgraded mine from an old Apple one to a newer Pixel one, which has a sturdier loop on it.

When I was a wee nipper I said I was gonna throw myself off a tall building at 30, live fast die young and all that.

I’m 40 next year…