Thelsim

Happy Birthday!
Sorry to hear about your birthday money, I hope you’ll still get to have nice day in spite of it!

Maybe not as fancy as the others, but I really like the little pink jeep. It’s boxy and cute.

God, I miss test listens. My favorite record store was very easy going in this, they’d happily let me stand there listening to most of the CD. The unspoken rule was that if you spend that much time listening, you’re going to buy it anyway.
One of the few shops where I always felt welcome.

*sniff* I always get emotional when people find their soulmate

Basically it’s what Aa! said, I just never knew the word for it.

I tie a knot, but it’s more like a shoelace and can be pulled open with a simple pull. Where does that put me?
I feel so lost and alone :(

Ohhh… The Girl From Ipanema, Nat King Cole version.
Perfect for a warm summer night’s drive. Not sure about the other 27 minutes though.

More like a long but tormented life of barely subsisting on the smallest amounts of water possible.
Death is too sweet and quick for my houseplants :)

I keep reading this as Criminally Sexy Pork.

Remember: even a moderately sexy pork chop is illegal to sell

Or what’s even worse, when you only remember half the name and keep wondering if you heard “Eve” or “Eva” and just mumble your way through pronouncing their name every time.

I don’t care if we are, that one is funny in it’s own right :)

Then you’re one of the good ones. Thank you for your excellent service.
I’ve had servers pretending I was a blind spot in their field of view, their gaze constantly slipping off me like I was the visual equivalent of teflon.

I’m not letting this bastard get anywhere near my other utensils.
He’s got a nice quiet space, together with all the other misfits.

No need to be shy, monster! It’s perfectly normal to get a sex toy these days.

Lady, you really need to get out of that corset.
I don’t think your organs are meant to be squeezed like that.

Only during pride month (I wish that was a joke)